Are you ready for 2016 to be over? Are you with me on letting go of this past year and moving into a new calendar year?
I know that 2016 has brought many of us to our knees, breaking down those old patterns and choosing a different way to live life. Our root & heart chakras have literally been broken open, inviting each of us to choose a new foundation of life.
Who knew that when I intended that I wanted to move at the speed of light while swimming in the ocean last year that my life would take so many twists and turns in 2016!
On September 10, 2015 I asked my husband of 20 years to move out, and for us to seek a new foundation in relationship trusting that the highest good would unfold for each of us in it’s own authentic way. Now, nearing the end of December 2016, we are moving through legal separation into divorce regaining new ground as friends and letting go of being lovers. Peeling away the layers of grief has taken its toll on my physical body as I began to connect to the new life that is imminent.
On February 8, 2016 I spent five days in the Critical Care Unit at the Rockyview Hospital pondering my existence and reevaluating all areas of my life. I knew that if I didn’t follow my heart’s wishes that I would leave this planet at the young age of 44. I knew that the process of disentangling my old life wouldn’t be an easy process but I knew that it was my only choice if I wanted to be alive.
On June 8, 2016 I was finally diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism, the very cause of my chest pain back in February (I was discharged with a query viral pericarditis). I had flown twice during this time and had been exercising like a crazy woman. I was still alive through all of this and I knew that this was a strong sign that I was to stay here on this planet.
There have been days since making the decision to begin the process of a legal separation that I have literally climbed to the top of the hill behind my house praying for a higher power to take me from this emotional pain and grief, and lift me out of my body. There has been days when I didn’t have the strength to wipe the tears from my face and for these days I am so grateful for my very close friends who held me up and listened to me as I had nothing to express except deep cries from a hole within my heart.
As I move through this journey of completing a 20-year marriage my first priority is my health; mental, spiritual and emotional. I know that if I don’t take care of myself that I won’t be good for my three daughters or anyone else. I have developed a deeper sense of empathy for those who have walked before me with their own health changes and those walking through divorce. I have learned to not take judgment personally, that this is truly one’s own reflection of releasing their own inner issues and that they have nothing to do with me at all!
I know that the divine always has a higher plan that I sometimes can’t foresee (well most of the time lol), and that I need to have blind faith that all will fall into alignment in the right divine time. I know that I am happier than I have been in a long time! I feel that I have truly begun to rebuild a new foundation of self-love throughout these challenging times. I have let go of old relationships and friendships that didn’t move forward as I did.
Even though at times I felt as though spirit was throwing me a curve ball through the ocean, I can now see more clearly and I feel the blessings of the challenges that 2016 the year of completion has brought forward for me. I look forward to the expansive heart based life that 2017 has in store. I wish you many blessings during the Holiday Season and thank you for being a part of my treasured life, and so it is…